#201 Banksy

I bounce down towards MacD hoping to see Dave so I can buy him a tea.

Got $20 in my pocket.

Dave’s havin a fag outside Tescos.

See that bank, goes Dave…

I look across the street to where he’s looking.

What bank?

Over there. Coutts.

Yeh, what about it?

You gotta be invited to bank there, goes Dave.

They look like Banksies, I go.

Theres a graffiti display in the shop window.

Very droile.

Banksy displayed in a bank.

C’est droile, Monsieur Fox.

Very fuken funny.

Banksy’s from Bristol, ain’t he.

Same as me.

Come on, I’ll get you a tea, I tells Dave.

Fuk me, what happened. You win the lottery?!

I go in, order 2 teas and proudly hand over my hard earned twenty pound note.

Get in there!

I’ll be back in Cambo in no time!

Right, Mr. Fox?!

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#200 How long Mr. Fox?

I fly back to central London from Heathrow high on my success.

I give my best performance yet of The ‘king Tree on the train that terminates at Cockfosters.

I know it was good cuz the waterfalls in Leicester Square around the statue of Shaks bounce up and down in rapturous applause.

I’m flying.

One of the Tesco bread lorries is there with the picture covering one whole side of the truck of a city made of loaves of bread.

I know what Mister Fox is telling me.

Bread is coming.

Not long to wait now.

How long til I sign the contract, Mr. Fox?

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#199 Heathrow Victim

At Heathrow I spot a couple eating breakfast who look like they may be Christians.

I ask them.

Excuse me, are you Christians?

The man, dark, majestic, looks like he could be a preacher.

Well dressed, handsome, with his equally elegant wife.

Yes, roars the man with an American twang. We are.

Praise the LORD, I say, and launch into my Christian missionary anti sex trafficking deported human rights worker sob story.

It works.

The preacher hands me a crisp, new, twenty pound note.

I thank them and walk away, delighted.

Bless them, Lord, I pray.

Bless their family, their friends, their health, their futures and their finances!

Wow.

Have I found a way to survive, living on the streets?

Have I found a way back to Cambodia, to my Razor and little Coco?

I keep a steely eye out for my next victim.

Thanks, Mr. Fox!

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#198 The War Zone

Dave gets the N9.

I skip the tube from L. Sq.

Leicester Square.

This train terminates at …

Heathrow.

Its crammed with party goers and office workers who stayed out late for drinks…until Earl’s Court.

After Earl’s Court its half full with a mix of the British middle class work force and people with suitcases…

Leaving London behind…

Either ending their vacation or setting off on a trip…

A journey…

Full of excitement and anticipation…

Entering the unknown.

Off…off into the world we go
Planning futures, shaping years
Love bursts in and suddenly
All our wisdom disappears…

Love makes fools of everyone
All the rules we made are broken!Yes love, love changes everyone
Live or perish in its flame.

Love will never ever let you be the same.

We cruise through Hounslow.

Heathrow coming up.

I’ll sneak thru the barriers behind this woman with the big suitcase.

The tube rattles thru the tunnel.

I’ve got no bags, which feels weird.

No fuken certificates.

And no money.

WTF.

I remember how I had set off on an exciting journey 10 years ago…

Off to Cambodia, following the voice of God…

Here I am, send me!

Listening to the voice of Jesus.

I remember standing at the foot of that mountain on the summer camp in Bolzano…

Looking up in the night sky at the huge Cross…

The river behind me, rushing waters.

And His voice was like the sound of rushing waters.

– Revelation 1:15.

I remember the verse God had given me…in choice Italian:

L’Eterno e il guerriero
L’Eterno e il suo nome.

The LORD is a warrior.
The LORD is His name.

– Exodus 15.3

I should have known then that the mission God was sending me on was going to be a battle.

I should have known I was stepping into a war zone.

Onto a spiritual battlefield.

But I didn’t.

I had no idea.

Did I, Mr. Fox!?

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#197 Let Me Love You

Dave gives me $2 to buy the teas.

I order.

My ticket is 008.

The screen says:

Preparing:

007

Fuk you, Mr. Fox.

One day I’ll get that 007 ticket.

I grab a handful of sugar sachets and wait for the teas.

Take them to Dave.

Justin Beiber and DJ Snake is playing.

Let Me Love You

Riding the edge of a knife.

I sing along.

You’re lively, goes Dave.

Reminds me of Razor, I tells him.

Who?

My girl in Cambodia.

You been smoking that shit again?

We got an amazing soundtrack, I tells him.

You cant fool me, goes Dave. I been round the block a few times I have. I’m going for a fag.

I sing along to DJ Snake and Justin.

Let me love you!

How the fuk am I gonna get back to Cambo?

Eh, Mr. Fox?

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#196 My Angel

A night guard workman wakes me up and kicks me out of the car park.

I saunter out into the cold.

Find a doorway down a side street near Embankment Park.

Lie down.

Head on my rucksack.

I jam my computer bag with all my important certificates between me and the door.

I wake up.

My cheek on the damp concrete floor.

My computer bags gone.

So is my rucksack.

Fuk!

Who the fuk would steal a homeless persons bags?

Junkies, probly.

That’s who.

It doesn’t soften the blow tho.

Thats everything I own.

Important education certificates.

Originals.

My degree.

My CELTA.

Although I did leave a bunch of certificates with a pawn broker in Phnom Penh.

Not sure which ones exactly.

Fuk.

It must be about 6.

I stagger to my feet. My body stiff.

Cold.

Move around the corner to MacD.

Alright, Jim. You wanna cuppa tea.

Guess who it is.

That’s right.

Bang on.

Dave.

My guardian angel.

Thanks, Mr. Fox!

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#195 Star No. 1.

I must be fuken tired cuz I walked into a concrete pillar.

Fell asleep walking around.

I dunno.

Is it all in my head?

This James Bond shit?

Is homelessness too painful for me to deal with ?

So painful that my brain created another reality…

That what was my worse nightmare was actually my fantasy – my dream come true?

That really I’m a movie star… being secretly filmed by my hero director …

About to be propelled to the top of the British Actor A list family tree.

From nowhere to British Acting star No. 1.

That would teach em.

All those so called friends who abandoned me.

Lied about me.

Cuz it was easier to lie about me and villify me than it was to keep on financially supporting me.

All my friends and family.

Everyone.

All the people I believed loved me and cared about me who have now left me alone to rot and die on the streets – first in Cambodia and now in London.

That would fuken teach em.

Wouldn’t it, Mr. Fox!?